Chrissy Teigen said she had “learned a lot” about canceling the crop over the past two months.
The cookbook author took to Instagram on July 14 to express that she is at a loss for words as she tries to get past recent bullying allegations against her.
“I don’t really know what to say here … it feels so weird to pretend nothing has happened in this online world, but it feels like crap in real life,” Teigen wrote, 35 years old, next to a photo of her on the sofa. “Going out sucks and it’s not okay with me, being home alone with my mind makes my head spin depressed.”
In May, she apologized to Courtney Stodden for an offensive tweet from 2011, saying she was “ashamed and completely embarrassed” about her past behavior. After a month away from social media, she returned in June with a long article on Medium to reflect on her actions. “Not a day, not a single moment has passed that I haven’t felt the overwhelming weight of regret for the things I have said in the past,” she wrote in part.
Chrissy Teigen and John Legend’s Cutest Family Moments
According to her new Instagram post, Teigen realized that the way “I’m handling this now is not the right answer.”
So, she decided to speak candidly about the mental health issues she has been facing in recent weeks to share what she has been through, writing: “I feel lost and I need to find my place, I have to. get out of it, I desperately want to communicate with you instead of pretending it’s okay. I’m not used to anything else !!
The former model, who recently posted photos from her family vacation in Italy, explained why “The cancellation club is such a fascinating thing.” She reflected: “Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know until you’re in it,” adding that it’s “hard” to talk about what she’s going through without sounding “moaning. “, especially” when you’ve clearly done something wrong. ”
She came to the conclusion that “It sucks. There is no victory.” As she shared with her 34 million followers, âAll I know is that I love you, I miss you, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just â¦ Tired of being sick of myself all day. ”
Although she was ready to “get ripped off,” she said she “can’t do this silent shit anymore!”
On the same day that Teigen apologized for Medium, fashion designer Michael Costello presented additional allegations against her. He said she accused him of “being a racist” in 2014 and tried to effectively blacklist him. “She told me my career was over and all my doors would be closed from there,” he wrote on Instagram, saying it had caused him to be “traumatized, depressed and having suicidal thoughts “.
“My targets didn’t deserve them. No one deserved it. A lot of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support,” Chirssy Teigen said on Instagram, Derek Zagami and Natalie Lizarraga have the details.
Costello posted unverified screenshots that allegedly showed the couple’s Instagram DMs.
However, Teigen’s team told Business Insider days later that the screenshots Costello shared were fake, highlighting inconsistencies in Instagram’s formatting and an old profile photo of her. The Costello rep then told E! News that Teigen “remains the same bully despite his public apology.”
Teigen then spoke directly to Costello, tweeting on June 18: “You now cause real pain to people who are trying to improve. Enough. Or it will go further. Not here, but a real court. And every penny. that we win will go to an anti-bullying charity that aims to turn this shit show into a positive event. ” She attempted to refute her alleged DMs by posting her own alleged screenshots, which showed their harmless DM history.
Her husband John Legend also came to her defense at the time. “Chrissy apologized for her public tweets, but after her apologies, Mr. Costello fabricated a DM exchange between them,” the Grammy winner tweeted. “This exchange was made up, completely wrong, never happened.”
The caption read: âI encourage everyone who spread this breathless lie to keep the same energy when correcting the record.
Teigen issued a written statement on her behalf, reiterating that she apologized for the public tweets she posted and stating that she had never “conspired” with anyone to harm the career of Costello. Read the full statement here.