Mumbai-based radio jockey Rohini Ramnathan has spoken of her husband’s sudden death after four years of marriage. In an interview with Humans of Bombay, Ms Ramnathan said she went through several stages of mourning – shock, anger, numbness – after learning of her husband Kaushik’s death four years ago. She drowned in labor and sought therapy for her mental health. It took months before she started to feel like herself again, she says.
“I met Kaushik through mutual friends,” recalls Ms. Ramnathan in her interview. “As RJ I loved telling stories when he was a writer; we hit it off.”
The two started spending more and more time together after they first met and eventually started dating. After three years of dating, Kaushik proposed – much to Ms Ramnathan’s delight. “We were that couple who completed each other’s sentences. And so after three years he asked me to marry him, I said ‘yes’!” she says.
The next four years were happy for the couple, who traveled, kissed under the Eiffel Tower and “fell in love”.
“We often dreamed of moving to New York – it was her favorite city. But four years after our marriage, Kaushik passed away… It was so sudden,” Ms. Ramnathan says.
The sudden loss of her husband shocked her. “I felt so much emotion, shock, anger, and then I went numb. I wanted to block it all out,” she says. After 14 days, she drowned in work and resumed filming – although she was often subjected to petty remarks from people wondering how she was feeling so soon after her death. husband.
“But while I was putting on a harsh exterior during the day, every night I would break down,” says Ms. Ramnathan.
This pattern continued for 10 months before she sought therapy. “It took me months to start feeling like myself again,” says RJ.
But even then, moving forward was not easy. Ms Ramnathan says the simple things – like choosing a sofa – have gotten difficult. “And every time I filled out a form, I had to be aware of choosing ‘single’ instead of ‘married’,” she adds.
The hardest time for her, she says, has been in New York City. She visited the city to understand why Kaushik had loved him so much – but to be there was “to live the future that we could never have had”.
“I hated it,” she said. “But it was also important because being there made me embrace my emotions. Slowly I started to put myself forward; I knew Kaushik would have wanted that.”
Over time, she started to find it in little things – like her favorite food, rasam chawal, or when she made a joke, she knew he would have liked.
“It’s been four years since he left us, but even today, if I’m stuck, I think about what he would say and do exactly that,” says Ms Ramnathan. “We couldn’t have an eternity, but in our 7 years together, Kaushik has given me memories for a lifetime. And they will keep me alive until the day I meet him again,” concludes- it.
Ms Ramnathan’s touching tale of love and loss struck a chord with social media users. On Instagram and Facebook, his post garnered thousands of reactions and comments.
“You have always been an amazing human being and an inspiration to so many people. I don’t think you stop mourning the loss of a loved one, but you have kept Kaushik alive within you,” wrote one commentator. .
“So beautiful and emotional, I have tears in my eyes. Stay strong,” said another.
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